{"product_id":"welcome-to-the-madness-welcome-mat","title":"Welcome to the Madness Welcome Mat","description":"\u003cp\u003ePicture a guest reading \"Welcome to the Madness\" on your doorstep, pausing, and quietly reassessing your whole personality. Now buy this mat.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is the \u003cstrong\u003e\"Welcome to the Madness\"\u003c\/strong\u003e Welcome Mat from Bespoke Matters: laser-engraved (never printed, never fading, never apologizing) into a durable, weather-resistant coir mat that will outlast at least two of your relationships and one houseplant.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWithstands rain, snow, and the existential weight of being stepped on daily by people who didn't read the label. Perfect for the kind of household that peaked comedically at the front door and has nowhere else to go but down.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIndoor\/outdoor use, non-slip backing, and a finish crisp enough that people will assume you have your life more together than you do. We won't tell them otherwise.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eComes in Standard and Large -- pick Large if you want the joke to land from the street.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bespoke Matters","offers":[{"title":"Standard","offer_id":48771882025143,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":48771882057911,"sku":null,"price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0705\/9524\/8311\/files\/011-welcome-to-the-madness_flat.jpg?v=1782800297","url":"https:\/\/bespokematters.com\/products\/welcome-to-the-madness-welcome-mat","provider":"Bespoke Matters","version":"1.0","type":"link"}